Mom's wish list

Today is Mother's Day. I usually spend the day thinking of how grateful I am for my own mother, grandmothers and Shaun's mother. It is a great blessing to be so closely acquainted with such wonderful women. I've learned so much from them. Just when I think I'm independent enough to not need my Mom, something happens to make me realize I need her more than ever.

I'm still surprised when someone wishes me a Happy Mother's Day. Me? I'm a mom? You mean I'm not just playing house? I'm actually responsible for these two children? People still come up to me in the grocery store and ask me if my kids are my own. I try to replay the last few minutes before their approach: did I so something horrible like shove as much pizza in their mouths as possible so we can hurry up and leave? Or maybe I used the words "like" and "totally" too many times in a sentence. ) What is it that makes strangers think these kids aren't mine? Maybe I'm still convincing myself. How am I ever going to become (to my children) what my mom is to me?

So, I've been thinking about what kind of Mom I want to be. My kids are still young, I haven't done too much damage yet. I'm good at some things and terrible at other things. I'm okay with that. I just want to make sure I'm good at the important things. So, here's my wish list for Mother's Day:

- I want my kids to know I love them...always.

- I want to be known as an honest person and someone to trust.

- I want my kids to know that a Mom can still have aspirations- the dreams may have changed, but they don't have to stop

- I want to be a Mom that speaks softly and doesn't raise her voice.

- I want to be a Mom that plays cars with her boys and "collects" with her girls (at least that's what mine do.)

- I want to be a Mom that has enough self-control to not take her frustration or exhaustion out on her kids.

- I want to be a Mom that finds more joy in making her kids happy than she does herself

- I want to be the kind of Mom that plans fun things and is excited for summer (and no school).

- I want my kids to know how much their Mom and Dad love each other.

- I want to be the kind of Mom that can laugh when she really wants to cry.

- I want to be the kind of Mom that teaches the gospel by sharing her testimony often.

- I want to be the kind of Mom that creates a home that children want to visit (or at least makes meals they want to eat!)

This may be a tall order, but I think the first step is wanting to be better than we are. I'm not aiming for perfect. I've learned great things from every mother I know. Their examples make up this list. I'll work on it a little at a time and maybe someday I'll feel like I'm really the Mom I want to be. Maybe that means I'll be more like the mothers in my life. I love you!